Mu ngingo ya 2 y’Amasezerano mpuzamahanga y’Uburenganzira bw’umwana, havuga ko: [umwana afite uburenganzira bwo kurindwa ihohoterwa, kutitabwaho, ibikorwa by’ubugome no gukorerwa ibikorwa bya kinyamaswa, [Kandi ingingo ya 347 mu Gitabo cy’Amategeko Mbonezamubano mu Rwanda ivuga ko: [ababyeyi bafite uburenganzira bwo guhana abana babo batarageza ku myaka y’ubukure, ariko ibi bihano bikaba bitarengereye ibibujijwe n’amategeko.]

Article 344 :  A child must remain under his/her parents authority, until he/she reaches his/her legal maturity or his/her emancipation.

Article 345 : Only a father and a mother have the parental authority over their child.

Article 347 : Parents have the right to provide legal disciplinary measures over their non-emancipated child.

Hari ababyeyi bashobora gutekereza ko gukubita intoki z’umwana, kumunyuzaho umunyafu cyangwa se kumukubita ikindi kintu bigomba kumwigisha isomo. Ni ukwibeshya cyane! Ahubwo bene ibyo bihano byumvisha abana ko tugerageza kubatsindagiramo ibyo tubigisha dukoreshejwe n’uburakari.

Gukubita ni igisubizo cy’umujinya.

Ibi rero bizatuma biyumvisha ko twebwe twakabarengeye ahubwo ari twe tubitura umujinya. Bizatuma aho kutugirira ikizere badutinya, batangire gusuhererwa igihe cyose batekereje gutaha mu rugo; kuko bahafashe nk’ahantu batagirira amahoro kurusha kuhafata nk’ahantu heza, h’uburuhukiro.

Dukeneye gutekereza ku nyigisho z’igihe kirekire dukeneye kwigisha abana bacu: Niba dushaka kubigisha kuba abanyamahoro, tugomba kubibigisha mu bikorwa. Niba dukeneye kubigisha uko bakwiriye kubaho bitwararirika, tugomba kubibasobanurira tunaberekera urugero.

Tekereza nk’umuntu mukuru uramutse ukubiswe uko wiyumva: wumva ukojejwe isoni kandi usuzuguwe. Ntabwo wumva ushishikariye kuba wakwishimira ugukubise. Wumva umufitiye urwango, umujinya n’ubwoba. Ushobora no kumva ugomba kwihorera.

Gukubita abana byangiza umubano wacu nabo. Ntabwo bibaha amakuru bakeneye kugira ngo bafate ibyemezo mu buzima. Kandi ikirenze, ntabwo bibashishikariza kutwubaha.

Dusuzume ibijyanye no gukosa kw’abana n’ibihano bitandukanye.

Ku byerekeye ibihano bihabwa abana bacu haba mu ngo cyangwa ku ishuri, tugomba kubanza kuzirikana ko umwana afite uburenganzira bwo gukosa imbere y’amaso y’umuntu mukuru, kuko imbere y’amaso y’uwo mwana, rimwe na rimwe ntabwo aba abibona nk’ikosa. Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko ibihano bishobora guhabwa abana biri mu byiciro bine.

1. Ibibabaza umubiri.

Urugero ni nko gukubita, gupfukamisha,….. Iki gihano kiri myumvire twavuze haruguru ko ihutaza uburenganzira bw’umwana, ndetse kikangiza umubano we n’umubyeyi / umurezi we. Abakurambere babibonye kare kuko baciye umugani ngo “Inkoni ivuna igufa ntivura ingeso”.

2. Gushyira mu kato.

Urugero ni nko guhagarika umwana mu mfuruka y’ishuri, cyangwa kumwambika inzogera mu gihe cyo gukina. Aha ikigamijwe kiba ari ukumugaragaza ngo n’abandi babone ko yakosheje nyuma yikosore. Iki gihano nacyo ntigikwiriye, kuko gikomeretsa amarangamutima y’umwana, bigatuma ashobora gukurana ipfunwe no kutigirira icyizere.

3. Igihano cy’akazi, cyangwa umwitozo.

Urugero ni uguha umwana wakosheje mu ishuri igihano cyo kwandika ijambo iri n’iri ishuro 100, 200… cyangwa kumubwira ngo natoragure imyanda iri ku kibuga cy’ishuri, kumuharuza ibyatsi n’ibindi. Iki gihano nacyo, kimwe n’icya kabiri cyo gushyira mu kato, ntibiba bigambiriye kubabaza umubiri, ariko nabyo binaniza umwana cyane mu mutwe, kuko aba asa n’uwavuye mu bandi, bityo bikamutera igisebo.

4. Igihano cyo kubuza umwana gukora iki n’iki.

Kumubuza kujya gukina n’abandi akaguma mu ishuri, kumusohora mu ishuri umwanya muto, kubuza umwana gusohoka abandi basohotse, kumubuza kureba televiziyo kuko yakoze ikosa iri cyangwa ririya, kumufungirana mu cyumba cye, kutamugurira icyo wamwemereye ngo yakosheje n’ibindi. Hari ikindi gihano tutashyize muri biriya kitwa ibitutsi, amagambo mabi asesereza nko kumubwira ngo niko cyabaye, dore uko gisa, kirusha amafuti ingurube, igicucu gusa n’ayandi.

Ibikomere n’ingaruka z’ibyo bihano iyo bibaye kenshi ku mwana.

Ibi bihano byose icyo bihuriyeho, ni uko bitewe n’uburyo kenshi bitangwa hatitawe ku kureba imyaka umwana afite, imyifatire iranga ikigero arimo, impamvu zatumye akora ikosa izo ari zo, ntabwo bitanga igisubizo byari bitegerejweho, ahubwo bishobora no kumuhungabanya ku buryo bukomeye.

Ashobora gutera icyizere ababyeyi, (abarezi) ndetse nawe akitera icyizere, kuko aba yumva ntacyo ari cyo, ntacyo ashoboye, bikamuviramo kwiheba, kwigunga, kwanga ishuri cyangwa ababyeyi. Umwana kandi ashobora kujya mu muhanda cyangwa ahandi gushaka abamwumva, kunywa inzoga n’ibindi biyobyabwenge kugira ngo bimufashe kwibagirwa ubuzima arimo, n’ibindi.

Inama ku babyeyi n’abarezi.

Ntugatinye guha umwana igihano gishyize mu gaciro ngo wumve ko ari ukumuhutaza cyangwa ko yazakuzinukwa. Iyo igihano gitanzwe mu bugwaneza, gitoza umwana kwicisha bugufi akemera gukosorwa, kandi iyo amaze gukura bimugirira akamaro. Abaheburayo 12:11.

Ababyeyi n’abarezi bagombye kumenya ko igihano iteka kijyana n’ikosa ryakozwe, kandi kigamije gufasha umwana guhindura imyifatire.

Bimwe mu bibazo dukwiye kwibaza mbere yo guhana umwana.

· Ese ibi yakoze yari azi ko ari bibi?

· Nta ruhare na ruto jye naba mfite mu gutuma akora iri kosa?

· Igihano ngiye kumuha gihuye n’ikosa yakoze?

· Ni ngombwa kumuhana?

· Nta bundi buryo nakoresha mu kumufasha guhindura imyifatire?

· Mbese nasubira agakora iri kosa, nzasubira muhe iki gihano, nzagikuba kabiri cyangwa nzamuha ikindi ?

Ingero z’ibihano byari bikwiriye bitewe n’ikosa umwana yakoze.

Urugero rwa 1: Umwana amennye igikoresho cyo mu rugo: mbere yo guhana uyu mwana urabanza wibaze uti "Ese kiriya gikoresho cyari aho kigomba kuba kiri? Ese umwana yakimenye abigambiriye? Ese ni ngombwa ko muhana? Niba ari ngombwa ndamuhanisha iki?". Kumukubita byo ni i ibyo kwirindwa cyane kuko ni icyaha gihanwa n’amategeko, kandi Amasezerano Mpuzamahanga yerekeye Uburenganzira bw’Umwana abuza rwose iki gihano.  Kubanza kumwumva kandi utuje, niyo ntambwe ya mbere, iya kabiri ni ukumwumvisha ikosa yakoze no kumusaba kwitondera ibintu bimeneka mu nzu kuko nawe ubwe bimufitiye akamaro.

Reka tuvuge ko ari ikirahure cyo kunywa amazi yamennye. Niba ari ngombwa kumuhana, ni ukumubuza kuzanywesha ikirahuri amazi mu gihe cy’iminsi mike; Urugero, akanywesha ibikombe bitameneka. Iki gihano kijyanye n’ikosa yakoze, kandi kiramwigisha, kiramukosora. Naho kumukubita, kumubuza kujya gukina, kumubuza kureba televiziyo, n’ibindi, ntaho bihuriye n’ikosa.

Urugero rwa 2: Umwana ukunda gukubita abandi bana iyo bari gukina ku ishuri cyangwa mu rugo, ushobora kumubuza gukina n’abo bana mu gihe gito.

Tureke abana babe abana, ntitubagire bakuru mbere y’igihe, tubaganirize kenshi tubumve, tubereke imyifatire ikwiriye umuntu, tubahe ibihano bibafasha kuyobora amarangamutima n’ibyiyumvo byabo aho kubahungabanya no kubatera ibimungu mu mutima.