You've successfully subscribed to ISHURI
Great! Next, complete checkout for full access to ISHURI
Welcome back! You've successfully signed in.
Success! Your account is fully activated, you now have access to all content.
Success! Your billing info is updated.
Billing info update failed.
IBIMENYETSO BISHOBORA GUTUMA UKEKA KO UWO MUVUGANA ARI KUGUKINGA UKURI

IBIMENYETSO BISHOBORA GUTUMA UKEKA KO UWO MUVUGANA ARI KUGUKINGA UKURI

Ibimenyetso byakubwira ko kanaka akubeshya akenshi ntabwo byoroshye gutahurwa na buri wese. Kandi ikigoranye kurushaho, nta buryo buhari bwo kwemeza 100% ko kanaka akubeshya cyangwa akubwiza ukuri.

Ivan Nyagatare
Ivan Nyagatare

Ibimenyetso byakubwira ko kanaka akubeshya akenshi ntabwo byoroshye gutahurwa na buri wese. Kandi ikigoranye kurushaho, nta buryo buhari bwo kwemeza 100% ko kanaka akubeshya cyangwa akubwiza ukuri. Gusa hari ibimenyetso bidashidikanywaho byakwereka ko kanaka arimo kukubeshya mu gihe ufashe umwanya wo kubisuzuma.

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe na Dr. Leanne ten Brinke, inzobere mu gusuzuma icyahitanye umurwayi agendeye ku bimenyetso byo mu mutwe[1]mu Ishuri ry’Ubukungu rya Haas rya Kaminuza ya California ari kumwe n’abunganizi be bavuga ko “ubusanzwe kamere yacu yifitemo ubushobozi bwo gutahura ikinyoma – nyamara ko akenshi umutimanama ari wo udutenguha”.

Hari ibimenyetso ushobora kwitegereza mu gihe ugerageza gutahura ikinyoma.

Dr. Lillian Glass, umushakashatsi n’umusesenguzi mu bw’imyitwarire n’urusobe rw’amarenga agaragazwa n’umubiri, wanashyize ahagaragara igitabo “Ururimi rw’ibimenyetso ku mubiri w’umubeshyi[2]” yavuze ko mu gihe ugerageza gutahura niba umuntu abeshya, ikintu cya mbere ukwiriye kwihatira gusobanukirwa ni imyitwarire ye mu buzima busanzwe: imwe mu myitwarire ishobora kugaragara nk’itamaza nyirayo (urugero kuvuga anakora ibimenyetso by’intoki kenshi, kurondogora,…), nyamara wenda bisanzwe ari akamenyero gasanzwe mu buryo aganira. Ni ingenzi cyane kuzirikana ko ibi bimenyetso ari ibishobora kugufasha ‘gukeka’ ko kanaka atakubwiza ukuri-ntabwo ari ibimenyetso ‘simusiga’ bishinja umuntu kubeshya. Wibuke ko hari n’abahanga mu kubeshya, akaba ashobora kugenzura ibi bimenyetso byose, akakubeshya rwose ntube warabukwa!

Dore rero bimwe mu bimenyetso ushobora kwitegereza, bigatuma ukemanga ukuri k’uwo muri kugirana ikiganiro:

  • Gukebaguza. Nubona ubajije umuntu ikibazo mwaganiraga kikaba nk’ikimutunguye, agahundukiza umutwe bwangu, ashobora kuba hari icyo ashaka kugukinga. “azinjiza umutwe mu ntugu, cyangwa se yubike umutwe, cyangwa se awuhengeke ku ruhande rumwe cyangwa urundi” – Dr Glass. Ibi bikunze kubaho akenshi mbere y’uko wa muntu abasha kuguha igisubizo ku cyo umubajije.
  • Impinduka mu mihumekere. Niba kanaka akubeshya, ashobora gutangira guhumaguza. “Ni igikorwa cyikora gutyo gusa” – Dr Glass. Mu gihe ahumaguza, uzabona intugu ze zisa n’izizamuka kurenza ibisanzwe, igituza cyaguke, kandi ijwi rye wumve ribaye rinini. “ibi ubundi biterwa n’uko gutera k’umutima n’umuvuduko w’amaraso bihinduka. Umubiri wawe ufata icyemezo cyo kubigenza gutya mu gihe uhangayitse, udatuje – uri kubeshya” Dr Glass.
  • Kwifata no kwikomeza, nta kunyeganyaga. Bisanzwe bizwi umuntu udatujwe arangwa no kutaguma hamwe. Ariko Dr Glass yavuze ko na none uba ugomba kwitondera umuntu wifunga ntanyeganyege na gato igihe ari kubazwa. “mu gihe uri mu kiganiro gisanzwe mu buryo busanzwe, ni ibisanzwe ko uba wisanzuye rwose, wirekuye kandi bitagusabye kubitekerezaho. Ariko niba ugaragaye nk’uwifashe, ukifunga rwose; icyo gihe ishyamba ntabwo riba ari ryeru!” Dr Glass.
  • Kudidimanga no gusubiramo kenshi ijambo cyangwa se interuro. Ibi biterwa n’uko aba agerageza ‘kukwemeza’ kandi nawe ‘yiyemeza’ icyarimwe ko ikinyoma ari kukubwira ari ko kuri. “Aba agerageza kwemeza umuntu we w’imbere ko icyo avuze ari ko kuri” “urugero, ashobora kuvuga ‘sinabikoze…sinabikoze…, ‘. Gusubiramo kenshi kandi ni n’amayeri yo ‘kwiba igihe’ kugira ngo abashe gushyira neza ku murongo intekerezo ze.
  • Kwivamo, ‘gucikwa n’amakuru menshi arenze ayari yitezwe’. “Mu gihe ubazwa akomeje kurondogora atanga amakuru menshi –arenze n’ayo yasabwe, akajya mu ducogocogo, ni impamvu yo gukeka ko atari kuvuga ukuri: ababeshyi akenshi badondobekanya amagambo, bitewe n’uko baba bizera ko biri bubagaragaze nk’aho ntacyo bafite guhisha, bityo abo babwira bakabizera.”
  • Kwifata ku munwa / Kwipfuka ku munwa. “Kimwe mu bimenyetso biranga udashaka gusubiza ikibazo runaka cyangwa se udashaka kuganira ku ngingo runaka ni uko yihutira kwipfuka umunwa-ibi birikora atiriwe anabitekerezaho!” – Dr Glass. Iyo umuntu mukuru ashyize ikiganza ku munwa, ni nko ‘kwifunga’, mbese ‘ntacyo nshaka kuvuga!’
  • Kugerageza gukinga amaboko kuri bimwe mu bice by’umubiri. Ibi ni nko gushyira intoki ku ijosi, gutwikiriza amaboko igituza, umutwe cyangwa se guhuriza ibiganza ku nda. “nakunze kwitegereza abakoreshwaga iperereza mu cyumba cy’Urukiko: nashoboraga gutahura niba ingingo runaka irashe uwabazwaga igihe nabonaga yihutiye gushyira ikiganza cye ku muhogo we.” Dr Glass.
  • Kubura ibyicaro (amifato = ‘kubura aho akwirwa’). “Aha ubundi bivuze ko ari umubiri uba uri kwikoresha” Dr Glass. Ubazwa –tuvuge mu gihe yicaye- ukabona arahindagura impagararo: niba yishingikirije ku kuguru kw’iburyo mu kandi kanya akishingikiriza ku kw’ibumoso, cyangwa se niba yicaye agerekeranyije amaguru, mu kanya kamwe akaguru k’ibumoso hejuru, mu kandi kanya akaguru k’iburyo hejuru, gutyo gutyo. Ubu ni bumwe mu buryo bwo ‘gucenshura’ umubeshyi: mu kwitegereza ibirenge bye, bizakubwira byinshi” Dr Glass.
  • Kugira ingorane mu kuvuga. “mu gihe wongeye gusuzuma neza amashusho aba yafashwe mu gihe cyo guta ibibazo ukekwa –waje guhamwa n’icyaha- uzasanga uko ibazwa rigenda ryigira imbere, niko agenda agira ingorane mu gusohora amagambo. Ibi biterwa n’uko ubwonko bw’umuntu ubusanzwe mu gihe agize umuhangayiko n’ubwoba bikabije butegeka imvubura z’amacandwe kugabanya igipimo zarekuraga, bityo mu kanwa hakumagara rwose.” Ikindi kimenyetso kitarenzwa ingohe ni ‘ukurya iminwa’ ku ubazwa. Dr Glass.
  • Gutumbira uguhata ibibazo. “Mu gihe umuntu runaka abeshya, ni ibisanzwe ko ‘ahunza amaso’ umubaza. Ariko hariho n’abahanga mu kubeshya, maze aho kuguhunza amaso, akagutumbira, agamije kugerageza ‘kukubikamo ubwoba’ no ‘kuyobya amarari’. Ubusanzwe iyo umuntu aganira nta rwikekwe, ashobora guterera amaso hirya cyangwa hino, hato na hato akanirebera hirya…mu gihe ufite icyo yikeka we atazabura kugukanurira, mu kugerageza kugutera ubwoba no kukuyobya !” Ikindi kimenyetso kigomba kwitabwaho hano ni ‘uguhumbaguza’ cyangwa se ‘gukanaguzwa’.
  • Gukoresha cyane ibimenyetso by’amaboko. Mu gihe umubeshyi ashyizwe imbere y’ikinyoma cye, akenshi uzasanga agerageza kwisobanura avangavanga amagambo n’ibimenyetso by’amaboko, urugero gutunga intoki uwo bavugana,…



[1] Forensic psychologist.

[2] “The Body Language of Liars”, by Dr. Lillian Glass.