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IBYIYUMVO BY'ABABYEYI : IPFUNDO KU BUZIMA BWO MU MUTWE BW'URUBYARO RWABO

IBYIYUMVO BY'ABABYEYI : IPFUNDO KU BUZIMA BWO MU MUTWE BW'URUBYARO RWABO

Ababyeyi ni inyenyeri zimurikira abana babo, bityo rero imyitwarire yabo isobanurira abana babo niba ibintu bimeze neza cyangwa niba atari amahoro

Ivan Nyagatare
Ivan Nyagatare

Ibyiyumvo byawe nk’umubyeyi ni ipfundo rikomeye ku myitwarire y’umwana wawe, n’uburyo wakira uko akwitwaraho.

Mu gihe wiyumva unaniwe, ufite umujagararo, uhangayitse cyangwa se urakariye ikintu runaka, birashoboka cyane ko ushobora kurakarira urubyaro rwawe kurushaho ku gakosa gato rwagwamo muri ibyo bihe.  

Akenshi umubyeyi yisanga ari kwihimura ibimuremereye ku mwana we!

Mu gihe ibyiyumvo by’umubyeyi bihindagurika, abana biyumva nta mutekano bafite kandi bagahangayika.

Mu gihe umubyeyi yirengagije agakosa k’umwana umunsi umwe, ariko undi munsi umwana agakoze kakamurakaza cyane, bituma umwana agwa mu gihirahiro.  Iyo umubyeyi akankamiye umwana we kubera ko umubyeyi afite ibindi bimuhangayitse, umwana agira umujinya, kuko atekereza ko abwiwe nabi kandi arengana.  

Mu gihe umubyeyi ahorana uburakari n’umunabi, abana bumva bugarijwe n’icyago kandi bagakuka umutima.

Ni ingenzi cyane ko ababyeyi baha agaciro ibyiyumvo byabo bwite. Bakwiriye kwirinda ko niba bumva bafite umunabi, wakwadukira n’abana babo.  

Ni ngombwa ko ababyeyi bagerageza gusinzira bihagije, ndetse no kurya indyo yuzuye: ibi bibagaruramo intege zo guhangana n’ingorane zikomoka ku nshingano za kibyeyi. Niba akenshi wisanga urakaye, ubabaye, uhangayitse cyangwa ufite umujagararo, ugomba kugana abajyanama b’ubuzima bwo mu mutwe cyangwa undi wagufasha mu bujyanama.

Ni ingenzi cyane kubonera umuti ibibazo byawe mu buryo bukubaka, kugira ngo ingaruka zabyo zitangiriza urubyaro rwawe.

Bigenda bite kugira ngo ibyiyumvo by’umubyeyi byadukire n’urubyaro rwe? Ni mpamvu ki ibikorwa byacu bigomba kurangwa n’amakenga?

  • Mu gihe umubyeyi akunze kurangwa n’ibyiyumvo njyasi, bigira ingaruka ku rubyaro rwe mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo ndetse no mu buryo bw’imikurire mu myitwarire.
  • Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko ubuzima bwo mu mutwe bw’umubyeyi w’umugabo bugira uruhare runini ku buzima bw’abana kurusha urwo ubwa nyina bubagiraho[1].

Abana bagirwaho ingaruka n’ibyiyumvo by’ababyeyi babo mu buryo bworoshye cyane.  

Mu gihe umwana abona ko umubyeyi we afite umujagararo, ananiwe, arakaye cyangwa ahangayitse, nta kindi yabikoraho uretse nawe kwinjirirwa n’ibyo byiyumvo.

Mu gihe iyo myitwarire ikomeje kwigaragaza, itangira kumunga imikurire mu byiyumvo n’imyumvire by’umwana.  Nibwo ababyeyi batangira kubona ko abana babo batabisanzuraho, cyangwa se babihunza batifuza kumarana igihe nabo. Batangira guseta ibirenge mu kubaganiriza ku bibazo bibabangamiye, cyangwa se bagatangira kujya bigunga mu rugo.  Ibi ni ukuri -cyane cyane ku bana bakiri bato- babona ababyeyi babo nk’icyitegererezo kandi bakagerageza kwigana imyitwarire yabo.  

Birumvikana rero ko mu gihe umubyeyi arangwa no kugaragaza ibyiyumvo bibi, bizototera urubyaro rwabo, mu gihe batanabicyeka.

Abana bazakubitana n’ibyo byiyumvo nk’umujinya ubihemberamo. Birumvikana ko uburemere bw’ingaruka z’icyo kibazo buzaterwa n’ikigero cy’umwana n’imikurire ye by’umwihariko: ab’ibitambambuga bashobora kugaragaza umujinya cyangwa umujagararo ubwabo, mu gihe abisumbuyeho bari mu ishuri bashobora kugaragaza kwigunga.

Iyi myitwarire yo kugaragaza uburakari bwa hato na hato no gukankamira abana yimakajwe mu mirerere y’abana, bizagira n’ingaruka zo gutakaza kwigirira icyizere ku mwana, bimuganisha ku guhora yicira urubanza, ndetse no guhorana ikimwaro, ipfunwe no kumva nta gitabara afite.  

Abana bari munsi y’imyaka itatu baba bacyshakisha mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo.  Niba rero ababyeyi babo bahorana akaduruvayo mu byiyumvo byabo, abana nabo bizabadukira: usange umwana ararira kenshi kandi ubudahozwa, bagaragaza ubwoba no guhangayika bikabije.  Ugasanga barihambira ku babyeyi babo, bagahorana ikidodo, bakagaragaza ibibazo mu kurya cyangwa gusinzira.

Abahanga bongeraho ko mu gihe uku kujagarara mu byiyumvo kw’umwe cyangwa bombi mu babyeyi, umwana yototerwa n’ihungabana mu mutwe, kandi ntagire ibyiyumvo bigumye hamwe nawe ubwe.  Bene aba bana bafite ibyago byinshi byo kurwara umuhangayiko, no kutaba umuntu uhamye mu mico n’ibitekerezo.

Abashakashatsi[2] bo muri Kaminuza ya Michigan bagaragaje ko ubuzima bwo mu mutwe bw’ababyeyi b’abagabo bufite uruhare runini ku burere bw’abana babo, kurusha uruhare ubwa ba nyina bubagiraho.  Inyigo bakoreye ku miryango 730 yo muri Amerika, yagaragaje ko umujagararo uturutse ku babyeyi b’abagabo ufite uruhare mu kwangiza abana babo mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo, imyumvire ndetse n’imivugire, cyane cyane ku bana bari mu myaka ibiri cyangwa itatu y’ubukure.

Ubwo bushakashatsi kandi bwagaragaje ko ubuzima bwo mu mutwe bw’ababyeyi bombi bugira uruhare rungana mu kwangiza imyitwarire y’abana, mu gihe aba bakiri ibitambambuga.

Birumvikana ko ari ibisanzwe ko ababyeyi rimwe na rimwe bagira ibyiyumvo bitameze neza.  Icyiza ni uko ibi bitakwangiza ibyiyumvo by’abana, kandi bizabafasha kwiga uko babyitwaramo ubwabo.  

Ni ibisanzwe kandi ko umubyeyi ashobora kugaragariza umwana we ko atishimye mu gihe amukoshereje: ariko ni ingenzi cyane ko iyi myitwarire itaba agakabyo.  Muri ubwo buryo, umubyeyi ntagomba kwiyumva nk’umunyamakosa.

Ababyeyi bashobora gukora amakosa kandi bakayigiraho, kugira ngo ubutaha bazabashe kwikosora.  Ababyeyi kandi bakunze kugira ikibazo cy’ibyiyumvo bijagaraye bakwiriye kwitoza uburyo bwo kwiyumanganya, bakagira ibihe bihagije byo kuruhuka kandi bakanihatira gukora imyitozo ngororamubiri.

Kwimenya ni ingenzi cyane. Bwa bushakashatsi bwavuzwe haruguru buvuga ko “ababyeyi benshi hari ubwo badasobanukirwa uburemere amagambo cyangwa se ibikorwa byabo bigira ku byiyumvo, imyumvire n’imikurire mu bwenge by’abana babo”; “ababyeyi bamwe baribwira bati, ‘umwana wanjye arasobanukirwa ko mfite ikibazo’ abandi bati, ‘baracyari bato, ntabwo basobanukirwa’ – ariko n’abana bato burya bagira uburyo bwabo bwo gusobanukirwa.

Ababyeyi ni inyenyeri zimurikira abana babo, bityo rero imyitwarire yabo isobanurira abana babo niba ibintu bimeze neza cyangwa niba atari amahoro.”

Ababyeyi bafite inshingano yo kwita ku myitwarire yabo. Ni ibisanzwe nk’umuntu, ntabwo wahorana akanyamuneza igihe cyose, ariko ugomba kwimenya igihe wumva utameze neza mu mutima, urakaye, uhangayitse; ugasuzuma intandaro y’ibyo byiyumvo.  

Mu gihe umenye impamvu yo kwiyumva utyo, ugerageza kuyiha umurongo, bityo ntibikomeze kukubangamira ngo bigire n’ingaruka ku bo mubana.  Ababyeyi bagomba kuzirikana igihe cyose ko bafite ubushobozi bwo guha umurongo ibyiyumvo n’imyitwarire byabo.

Kwimenya ni ingenzi cyane: Atari gusa uko wiyumva ahubwo n’amagambo ukoresha n’imyitwarire ugira igihe uri mu bana bawe.  Iyo ubashije kwisobanukirwa, bigufasha guha umurongo ibyiyumvo byawe mu kigwi cy’uko aribyo biguha icyerekezo cy’imyitwarire.

Nta gushidikanya, biroroshye mu mvugo kurusha kubishyira mu bikorwa, dufatiye ku buremere bw’inshingano za kibyeyi muri ibi bihe turimo, ariko ufite kugerageza: uko ukomeza kwihatira kugerageza, uzabona ko bizagenda bikubamo akamenyero, bikazagera aho biba ubuzima


[1]Dr Florence Huang.  Inzobere ku buzima bwo mu mutwe.  Hong Kong.

[2]Early Childhood Research Quarterly and Infant and Child Development”.  University of Michigan State. USA.