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IKIBAZO CYA "PERFECTIONISM"

IKIBAZO CYA "PERFECTIONISM"

Niba udahwema kwibaza niba waba ufite icyo kibazo cy’uko urugero rwose wakoramo akazi kawe, uhora wumva bidahagije, wari ukeneye kugorora aka, kunoza kariya,…icyo gihe ugomba kuba ufite ikibazo mu buryo bw’imitekerereze ngengamikorere cyitwa ‘perfectionism’.

Ivan Nyagatare
Ivan Nyagatare

Waba utanyurwa n’urugero ukoramo akazi kawe? Bimwe mu bimenyetso biranga ‘perfectionist’.

Mbese aho kwishyiriraho imihigo ihanitse mu kazi kawe ntibyaba bisenya amahoro muri wowe, bityo bikakubuza amahwemo ? Niba udahwema kwibaza niba waba ufite icyo kibazo cy’uko urugero rwose wakoramo akazi kawe, uhora wumva bidahagije, wari ukeneye kugorora aka, kunoza kariya,…icyo gihe ugomba kuba ufite ikibazo mu buryo bw’imitekerereze ngengamikorere cyitwa ‘perfectionism’. Iyi ni imwe mu myitwarire idasanzwe iboneka mu isi y’akazi.

Perfectionist : Muri iyi nyandiko twahisemo gukoresha iri jambo uko riri, kuko nta jambo nyaryo twabonye mu Kinyarwanda ryarisobanura neza, bidahinduye igisobanuro cy’umwimerere cyaryo.

Duteruye iyi ngingo, kuko bimaze kugaragara ko ari ingenzi kugira ubumenyi ku ngingo zerekeye iki kibazo cyo kuba ‘perfectionist’ mu byo ukora, ndetse ukanasobanukirwa impamvu inzobere mu byerekeye ubuzima bwo mu mutwe zasanze iyi miterere ari ikibazo. Ubu bumenyi buzagufasha gushyiraho ingamba nziza zigenga uburyo ukora akazi kawe, mu rugero rukwiriye ku buryo ugera ku ntego (nazo zishoboka) uba wihaye -urugero rugendanye n’ubushobozi bwawe, kuko n’ubusanzwe mu kinyarwanda bavuga ko ‘Umuntu aterura ikivi azabasha kusa’. Mu by’ukuri, ntawe utishimira guharanira gukora akazi, kakaba gatunganye rwose. Ariko iyo bibaye, igihe cyose ukumva utanyuzwe n’imirimo yawe, uko waba wagerageje kose ; ibyo ni ikibazo.


Reka dushushanye iki kibazo muri ubu buryo : « Mu myaka 3 ishize, nubakishaka ibiraro by’amatungo. Twaje guha akazi umufundi witwa Tharcisse. Yari umuhanga rwose. Ariko rubanda bamuvugagaho inenge naje gusanga yari ‘perfectionism’ ubwo namaraga gucukumbura iyi nyandiko : uko yamaraga gukora agakorwa gato ku nyubako : gutera ikamba, gutondekanya amabuye, gutera idirishya,…mbese igikorwa cyose arangije, yitazaga inyubako nko muri m 15, 20,…akitegereza cya gikorwa, akihengeka, akica ijisho,…akimuka akajya mu rundi ruhande, hamwe akagaruka akagorora, agasenya kano, akongeraho kariya, gutyo gutyo. Ku buryo ibi byamufataga byibura iminota 20 ! akabikora inshuro nyinshi ku munsi ! ingaruka y’ibi yabaga ko niba inyubako yaragenewe iminsi 7, byashobokaga cyane ko ayubatse mu minsi 10 ! ibi byagiye bimutesha akazi, kuko rubanda bavugaga ko ‘akabya’ mu byo akora. Kuba ‘perfectionism’ bigira ingaruka ku mukozi ndetse no ku musaruro. »

Bimwe mu bimenyetso rusange biranga ‘perfectionists’.

Ikibazo cyo kuba ‘perfectionist’ –ari nayo mpamvu ukeneye kumenya niba waba udafite imwe mu mico iranga bene uyu muntu- ni uko umuntu uri ‘perfectionist’ arangwa n’umusaruro muke, ahubwo akagira akajagari-stress kenshi. Iri rero ni ryo tandukaniro ry’ingenzi riri hagati y’umukozi ‘perfectionist’ n’umukozi ‘nyamwete -‘high achiever’ ugera ku musaruro ushimishije.

1.Gutekereza byose cyangwa se kudatekereza na kimwe.
Umukozi uri ‘perfectionist’ kimwe n’umukozi ‘nyamwete’ barangwa no guhiga imihigo ihanitse mu kazi kabo, maze bakamaranira kwesa ya mihigo. Ariko nanone, wa mukozi nyamwete arangwa no kunyurwa no kuba yakoze umurimo ugaragara ndetse akabasha kwesa umuhigo –cyangwa se akagera hafi yawo, n’ubwo umuhigo nyawo yaba atabashije kuwusingira rwose. Mu gihe ‘perfectionist’ we atabikozwa : ni ukugera ku gasongero k’umuhigo byanze bikunze, bitaba ibyo, akumva ko ‘ntacyo nakoze rwose !

2.Kuba ntamunoza : kunenga byose.
Umukozi ‘perfectionist’ arangwa no kuba ntamunoza kurenze umukozi nyamwete : guhora yinenga ubwe ndetse ataretse na bagenzi be : arangwa no gucenshura amakosa n’inenge mu bikorwa bya bagenzi be ; mu gihe nyamwete aterwa ishema n’akazi yabashije gusohoza, ibi bikamubashisha gutera ingabo mu bitugu bagenzi be. Perfectionist ni nk’aho ibitagenda neza ari byo amaso ye abona gusa ! akaba umuntu uca imanza, ntabasha kwibabarira cyangwa se kubabarira bagenzi be mu gihe cy’ikosa cyangwa kwibeshya.

3.Gusunikwa n’ubwoba.
Umukozi nyamwete ni umuntu ‘ukururwa’ n’intego yishyiriyeho mu kazi ke ndetse n’ishyaka ryo kwese imihigo. Banyurwa na buri ntambwe yatewe mu cyerekezo nyacyo igana ku kwesa imihigo. Naho perfectionist ku rundi ruhande, asa n’aho ‘asunikwa’ n’ikidodo/icyoba cyo kutabasha kwesa imihigo, kimusunika mu cyerekezo kigana intego z’akazi ke. Ikindi cyose (n’ubwo zaba ari intambwe yagezeho zigana ku kubigeraho) kitari ukwesa imihigo ubwayo, nta yindi shusho akibonamo atari ugutsindwa.

4.Intego zihanitse –zidashoboka.
Ingorane kurushaho, ni uko umukozi ‘perfectionist’ akenshi yigerekaho intego ‘zimurenze’, mu yandi magambo zishobora kuba zinari hanze ya rwa ruziga rw’ubushobozi –Circle of competences3. Mu gihe nyamwete ashobora gushyira intego ze hejuru, akaba yananyurwa no kuzigeraho ndetse akaba yanazitambukaho uko bishobotse, perfectionist we uzasanga ahubwo yishyiriyeho intego zigaragara nk’izihanitse mu bushorishori rwose !

5.Gutumbira kwesa umuhigo gusa.
Nyamwete anyurwa na buri ntambwe ishikamye igana ku kwesa umuhigo, kuko aba abona neza ko ari mu nzira nziza igana ku kwesa umuhigo. Mu gihe mu maso ya perfectionist, ni ‘umuhigo gusa’, nta kindi ! mu guhanga amaso umuhigo gusa, ntabasha kunezezwa n’intambwe nziza yateye uyu munsi ! bityo agahora muri cya cyoba cy’uko ashobora guhusha intego ze : ibyo bisenya cyane intekerezo, bikamubuza amahwemo, kandi bigatuma atabasha kwisuzuma ngo anamenye niba ari kuzamuka mu bumenyi ndetse n’urugero rw’umusaruro agezeho. Aha byagereranywa na wa mukinnyi uri mu isiganwa, agatumbira intego, ntiyibuke ko agomba no kugena ibihe byo gukurura umwuka no gusuzuma intera ariho agereranyije n’abo basiganwa ! mu gutamagira gusa se nk’inka yatannye, yamenya ate ko yabasize ? mbese ayobye inzira yazabimenya ate ?

6.Guturwa hasi n’imihigo itabashije kweswa.
Perfectionist arangwa no gushyirwa hasi byoroshye (gukonja, gucika intege) bitewe no kutabasha kwesa umuhingo runaka. Mu gihe nyamwete n’ubwo yatsindwa, arangwa no kugaruka, akongera akagaruka ! Akagerageza kugeza hari icyo agezeho.


7.Ikidodo cyo gutsindwa.
Nk’uko twabibonye mu ngingo ya (c), perfectionist arangwa no guhorana icyoba cyo gutsindwa cyangwa kunanirwa kwesa imihingo. Kubera ko aba yashyize ibyiringiro byinshi mu kurasa ku ntego, abihirwa cyane no kuba atabashije kwesa umuhigo.

8.Akamenyero ko gusubika ibikorwa -procrastination.
Ubusanzwe ugendeye ku bisobanuro by’iyi myitwarire yombi –perfectionism na procrastination, byumvikana nk’aho bitagendanye rwose, kuko gusubika ibikorwa kenshi bikerereza kwesa imihigo, nyamara ahubwo mu isi y’umurimo, iyi myitwarire aho imwe yabonetse n’indi iba ihari : Kubera cya kidodo cyo kuba ashobora kunanirwa kurasa ku ntego, perfectionist arangwa no guhora asubika / yigiza inyuma ibikorwa kugera ubwo igihe kinamushirana ! noneho kubera kwa kwimura ibikorwa kenshi, bikamubana byinshi ku munota wa nyuma, bikamucanga, birangira nta gikozwe ! ibi bikaba bibi cyane mu isi y’umurimo, kuko iyo uyu mukozi adakurikiraniwe hafi, aba ari kwinjira muri rwa ruziga rwiziringa – cercle vicieux, vicious circle, aho aba atakibashije gutanga umusaruro, kuko aba arwana intambara zikomeye mu mutwe we.

9.Kurangwa no kutava ku izima.
Kubera iyi mimerere aba yamaze kwinjiramo, gutsindwa kwe kose agerageza kugushakira igisobanuro, ariko agenda asitara kuri bagenzi be, ndetse n’abamukuriye. Mu gihe nyamwete yishimira kunengwa kumuhwiturira kwikosora, perfectionist we afata kunengwa nabi cyane, akihagararaho ndetse ntave ku izima ! Ibi ni ibihe bibi cyane umukozi ashobora kwisangamo. Ubujyanama no kuganiriza abakozi ni ingenzi.

10.Kwitakariza icyizere.
Nyamwete muri kwa kuzamuka mu musaruro w’akazi ni nako bimuzamurira kwigirira ikizere, mu gihe perfectionist we, muri izo ntambara aba agundagurana nazo ; akomeza gushyirwa hasi no kwicira urubanza, akabura amahoro, nta munezero. Usibye kumusenya mu buryo bw’imitekerereze, yototera umubiri ; iyi mimere inasenya kwa kwigirira icyizere ku mukozi. Yinjirirwa n’imyitwarire yo kwigunga no kuba wenyine, kuko ya migirire yo gucenshura (b) abandi nawe atiretse ituma bagenzi be bamwitaza.

Mu gusoza, niba bimwe muri ibi bimenyetso ubyibonaho, ntabwo ijuru rikuguyeho! Kwemera ko hari impinduka zishoboka mu mitekerereze ngengamikorere yawe ni intambwe ya mbere y’ingirakamaro mu kubaka umukozi ukwiriye : umukozi ushikamye kandi wiyizeye, ufite ubuzima bwiza mu mutwe no mu mubiri, umukozi utanga umusaruro.



Ubushakashatsi.