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KWIRINDA IMIHANGAYIKO (ANXIETY)

KWIRINDA IMIHANGAYIKO (ANXIETY)

Guhangayika nta kindi bizakumarira uretse kukongerera ibibazo cyangwa byo ubwabyo bikakubera ikibazo. Kugira ngo wirinde guhangayika bikabije, ugomba kwita ku buzima bwawe, ukagenzura uko ubana n’abandi, intego ufite n’ibyo ushyira mu mwanya wa mbere.

Ivan Nyagatare
Ivan Nyagatare

“Buri gihe mba nibaza nti ‘byagenda bite se ndamutse…?’ ‘Ubu se imodoka turimo ikoze impanuka?’ ‘Ubu se indege turimo ihanutse?’ Mpangayikishwa n’ibintu umuntu usanzwe adashobora no gutindaho.” Habimana - Umwarimu.

“Mpora mpangayitse igihe cyose, meze nk’imbwa iziritse igenda yizengurukaho ariko idashobora kurenga aho iri. Mba niruhiriza ubusa kandi nta cyo biri bungezeho!” Uwiduhaye – Umudozi.

Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko guhangayika ari ibisanzwe mu buzima bwa muntu, ahubwo uburyo tubyakira aribwo bugaragaza ikinyuranyo mu mibereho yacu.

Guhangayika si bibi, kandi bishobora kudushishikariza kugira icyo dukora. Urugero, reka tuvuge ko ufite ikizamini mu cyumweru gitaha. Guhangayika bishobora gutuma wiga muri iki cyumweru kugira ngo uzagire amanota meza.

Nanone guhangayika mu rugero runaka bishobora kukurinda akaga : Ushobora kumva uhangayitse bitewe n’uko watangiye gutandukira, ukaba uzi ko ugomba kugira icyo uhindura kugira ngo umutimanama wawe utuze.  Muri make, guhangayika bishobora kukugirira akamaro igihe cyose bigutera gukora ibyiza.

Ku rundi ruhande, guhangayika bishobora gutuma ugira ibitekerezo bibi, ukumva umeze nk’aho uri mu nzu y’ibyumba byinshi wabuze aho usohokera: umuntu ubona ibintu mu buryo bunyuranye n’uko ubibona ashobora kugufasha.

Guhangayika nta kindi bizakumarira uretse kukongerera ibibazo cyangwa byo ubwabyo bikakubera ikibazo. Kugira ngo wirinde guhangayika bikabije, ugomba kwita ku buzima bwawe, ukagenzura uko ubana n’abandi, intego ufite n’ibyo ushyira mu mwanya wa mbere. Iyi ngingo, irakwereka amwe mu mahame yagufasha kumenya uko warwanya imihangayiko cyangwa uko wayigabanya.

Itoze kwihanganira ibyo udashobora kugira icyo uhinduraho.

Ni byiza kwitegura guhangana n’ibibazo bishobora kuvuka, ariko ujye uzirikana ko hari ibyo udashobora kugira icyo uhinduraho.  Hari igihe uba udashobora kugira icyo uhindura ku mimerere urimo, ariko ushobora guhindura uko uyibona.

Ntugatinde ku bintu cyane.

Ugomba kwihatira ibitekerezo bishyira mu gaciro: Nasanze ngomba kubona ibintu mu buryo bwagutse, sinibande cyane ku tuntu duto duto. Ngomba guhitamo iby’ingenzi kurusha ibindi akaba ari byo nibandaho: Abantu badatinda ku bintu cyane usanga ibibazo bidakunze kubatesha umutwe.

Jya ushaka uwo ubwira ibiguhangayikishije.

Ababyeyi cyangwa inshuti bashobora kukugira inama zatuma udakomeza guhangayika. Dufate urugero rw’umunyeshuri wavaga ku ishuri ahangayitse, yibaza niba ejo azasubirayo. Kuganiriza ababyeyi be ibimuhangayikishije, bakamutega amatwi byamufasha cyane. Bikamuha imbaraga zo gusubira ku ishuri.  Ku bemera Imana, iki nicyo gihe amasengesho agira akamaro.

Mu gihe ukomeje guhangayika cyane

Hari abakiri bato barwaye indwara yo guhora bahangayitse. Urugero: Habimana –umushoferi wa bisi- “guhangayika byatumaga mpora ndwaye umutwe, sinshobore kwerekeza ubwenge ku kintu kimwe, nkamara igihe mfite ibitotsi ubundi nkabibura, nkarya cyane ubundi nkumva ntabishaka. Nahoraga mpangayitse. Akabazo kangana urwara nabonaga kangana umusozi.”

Niba ukomeje guhangayika cyane, byaba byiza ugiye kwa muganga. Ibyo ni byo Habimana yakoze. Yaravuze ati “maze kwivuza, numvise merewe neza kandi nshobora kwihanganira imihangayiko mfite.”

Irinde guhangayikishwa n’iby’ejo.

Nubwo imihangayiko ntaho twayicikira, ntitwagombye kuyongera duhangayikishwa n’iby’ejo. Jya uhangayikishwa n’iby’uyu munsi: Guhangayika bikabije, bishobora kukuviramo guheranwa n’imihangayiko. Gerageza gukora ibi: icya mbere, jya uzirikana ko hari imihangayiko utabona aho uhungira. Nanone ntugahangayikishwe n’ikintu udashobora kugira icyo uhinduraho, kuko byakongerera imihangayiko. Icya kabiri, jya uzirikana ko hari igihe duhangayikishwa n’ibintu bitazigera bibaho.

Jya witega ibintu bishyize mu gaciro.

Ntugashake ko ibintu byose bitungana.  Ntugashake gukora ibirenze ubushobozi bwawe kandi ujye witega ku bandi ibintu bishyize mu gaciro: Jya wiyoroshya, kandi umenye aho ubushobozi bwawe n’ubw’abandi bugarukira. Ibyo bizagabanya imihangayiko yawe n’iya bagenzi bawe kandi bizatuma ibyo mukora bigenda neza. Nanone jya utera urwenya.

Burya iyo wisekeye, no mu gihe ibintu bitagenze neza, bikugabanyiriza imihangayiko, ukamererwa neza.

Ihatire kumenya ikiguhangayikisha.

Kugira ibyiyumvo bibi bishobora gutuma udatekereza neza. Ubwo rero, mu gihe uhangayitse jya ugerageza kwifata no gutuza.  Jya umenya ikintu gikunze kuguhangayikisha n’uko witwara mu gihe kibaye.

Jya uhindura uko ubona ibintu. Hari igihe ibiguhangayikisha, abandi bashobora kubona nta cyo bitwaye. Ntukihutire gucira abandi urubanza. Jya wibanda ku bintu bitaguca intege. Jya ureba ibintu mu rugero rwagutse.

Jya ugira gahunda.

Twese dukunda ibintu biri kuri gahunda.  Ikintu gikunze gutuma tutagira gahunda mu byo dukora, ni ukurazika ibintu, kandi ibyo bishobora gutuma ugira umurundo w’ibintu byinshi utarangije gukora. Gerageza gukora ingengabihe ishyize mu gaciro kandi uyubahirize, hanyuma, jya umenya ibituma urazika ibintu kandi ubyirinde.

Jya ubaho mu buzima bworoheje.

Abantu batwawe n’akazi bashobora kutabona uko bishimira inyungu z’imirimo iruhije bakoze.  Bashobora kugwa agacuho, ntibabone igihe cyo kwishimira ibyo baruhiye. Jya ubona akazi n’amafaranga mu buryo bushyize mu gaciro. Amafaranga menshi si yo atuma umuntu yishima, ahubwo uko uyabona ni ko n’imihangayiko yiyongera. Ubwo rero, ujye ubaho uhuje n’ubushobozi bwawe.  Ujye ufata akanya ko kuruhuka ugakoremo ikintu ukunda.

Ntukarangazwe n’ibikoresho bya elegitoroniki, kumara igihe kinini ku mbuga nkoranyambaga cyangwa ureba abakwandikiye. Nanone, jya wirinda gusoma ubutumwa bufitanye isano n’akazi nyuma y’akazi, keretse gusa bibaye ngombwa.

Jya wita ku buzima bwawe.

Iyo umuntu akora siporo agira ubuzima bwiza.  Jya ubungabunga ubuzima bwawe. Gukora siporo bishobora gutuma wumva uguwe neza kandi bigatuma uhangana n’imihangayiko. Jya urya ibyokurya bifite intungamubiri kandi uge urira igihe. Nanone uge uruhuka bihagije.  Ujye wirinda kurwanya imihangayiko ukoresheje ibintu byakwangiza ubuzima bwawe (itabi, ibiyobyabwenge, inzoga nyinshi,...).

Niwumva imihangayiko ikurenze, ujye ujya kwa muganga. Ntuzaterwe isoni no kujya kwa muganga bitewe n’imihangayiko.

Jya ugirira abandi neza.

Mu gitabo kivuga ku bijyanye n’imihangayiko, harimo ingingo ivuga ngo: “Jya urwanya imihangayiko ugirira abandi neza.” Dogiteri Tim Cantopher wanditse icyo gitabo, yavuze ko kugirira abandi neza bishobora gutuma umuntu agira ubuzima bwiza kandi akagira ibyishimo.

Ariko umuntu w’umugome ntagira ibyishimo kuko abandi bamwanga kandi bakamugendera kure.

Jya umenya ibyo ushyira ku mwanya wa mbere.

Jya usuzuma witonze ibintu ushyira mu mwanya wa mbere.

Jya utegura ibyo uzakora uhereye ku by’ingenzi kurusha ibindi.

Buri cyumweru ujye wandika uko ukoresha igihe cyawe. Hanyuma, uge ureba aho wanonosora.

Uko urushaho gukoresha igihe neza, ni ko urushaho kwirinda imihangayiko.

Jya uteganya igihe cyo kuruhuka. Iyo uruhutse, nubwo byaba igihe gito, bigusubizamo imbaraga bikagabanya imihangayiko.

Emera ko abandi bagufasha.

Amagambo arangwa n’ineza kandi agaragaza impuhwe abandi batubwiye, ashobora gutuma twumva turuhutse.

Jya ubwira ibiguhangayikishije umuntu ushobora kukumva.

Jya usaba ubufasha.

Niba uwo mukorana akubangamira, jya ushaka uko wakemura icyo kibazo. Urugero, Ushobora kuganira n’uwo muntu mu bugwaneza maze ukamubwira ukuntu ibyo agukorera bikubabaza.  Niba ibyo ugerageje gukora byose nta cyo bigezeho, ushobora kugabanya igihe umarana na we.

Kubabarira bigira akamaro.

Dogiteri Loren Toussaint yaranditse ati: “Imihangayiko yangiza ubuzima ariko kubabarira byo biraburinda.” Yongeyeho ati: “Kubabarira bituma wikuramo ibitekerezo bibi bigatuma udakomeza kurakarira uwagukoshereje, ahubwo ukamugirira neza.” Yashoje avuga ko “iyo umuntu akunda kubabarira, bishobora kumugabanyiriza imihangayiko n’ingaruka zayo”.